If You Take a Mom to Target

 

I wrote this post in September 2010, when I was six months pregnant with Allie. It still makes me laugh, so I wanted to give it a rerun.

If you take a Mom to Target, she's going to want a cart to put her purse in.

If she gets a cart, she's going to want to peruse the dollar bins.

If she peruses the dollar bins, she's going to find a toy that reminds her to buy a birthday gift for a 3-year-old she knows.

If she remembers that she needs a birthday gift, she's going to want to go to the toy department.

If she heads toward the toy department, she's going to remember that she needs to buy tights for her daughter's ballet costume.

When she picks up the tights for the ballet costume, she is going to see the little girl pajamas.

If she sees the little girl pajamas, she's going to want to look at all of the little girls' clothes.

While she's looking through all of the little girls' clothes, she'll see the pharmacy sign and remember that she needed to buy iron supplements.

While she's in the vitamin aisle, she'll remember that her bottle of prenatal vitamins is almost empty. She'll have to explore the options, and she will decide that she needs a DHA supplement in addition to the vitamin.

While she's looking at the prenatal vitamins, she'll remember that she wanted to check out the selection of long-sleeve onesies in newborn sizes.

When she goes to look at the onesies, she'll think about the birthday gift again and veer back toward the toy department.

While she's looking for that birthday gift, she'll want to look for stocking stuffers for her own child.

While she looks for stocking stuffers, she'll get distracted by all of the Play-Doh play sets. She'll buy one of them to use at home.

When she chooses a Play-Doh play set, she might sneeze.

When she sneezes, she'll remember that she needs to buy Poise pads.

When she goes back to the pharmacy department to buy Poise pads, she'll remember that she had a hard time seeing through her windshield this morning. She'll need to look through the cleaning supplies to find glass wipes.

When she leaves the cleaning supplies aisle, she'll remember that she had been looking for a fall jacket.

While she's looking at the fall jackets, she'll see the hoodies and sweatshirts and decide to look at those instead.

When she finds a sweatshirt that she thinks her daughter will like, she'll see the cash registers.

When she sees the cash registers, she'll decide to break out of Target while she still can.

And that is how it came to pass that I went to Target today with a list of 5 items:

• Iron supplements
• Tights
• Birthday present for Cole
• Poise pads
• Glass wipes

And an hour later, left the store with 5 large bags of things, but no birthday present for Cole.

Does this happen to you? What gets you sidetracked at a superstore?

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