Dear Heather Solos,
I know I agreed to review your new book, Home-Ec 101: Skills for Everyday Living - Cook it, Clean it, Fix it, Wash it, but I can't. It's not that I don't like it. I do like it, actually. I like it a lot. I like your writing style, your sarcasm, and your wit.
Some parts of the book have really pierced my heart, like
If no one who visits your home is ever hungry or thirsty, it may be time to take a hard, unbiased look at your cleaning habits.
Um, ouch. That thought never, ever occurred to me before. I just thought people were not hungry or thirsty.
But that's not why I can't review your book.
The problem is that I can't read it.
The first time I sat down to read it, I opened to page 59. I read about how to soak the bathtub with laundry soap overnight to get rid of grime. I put the book down and went to soak the tub because it really needed to be done (and I didn't know I was supposed to do it in the first place).
But then I got distracted by the laundry, and I forgot to come back to the book.
Another time, I read about vacuuming the refrigerator coils. First of all, I didn't even know that my refrigerator had coils.
So I asked my husband,
"Joe? When was the last time we vacuumed the refrigerator coils?"
"The what?"
"The refrigerator coils. This book I'm reading says you're supposed to vacuum them a few times a year to keep the fridge working at its peak efficiency."
"I've never heard of that."
"There are a lot of things you've never heard of, Dear."
And the coils never did get vacuumed, until I did it myself. But while I had the vacuum out, I thought I should vacuum the dust off of the cabinets and out of the corners.
That did not help me to write a review.
It happened a third time. I was reading the chapter about dining rooms, where you suggested that I vacuum my window sills, sashes, panes, and the space between the window and the screen.
What?!? Vacuum the windows? I assure you; I have never even considered vacuuming the windows.
So I went to do it.
Incidentally, I noticed you mentioned having ADD and finding a lot of other things to work on while you're trying to clean the dining room. I'm glad you brought that up since it's exactly how I feel!
In conclusion, I'm so sorry that I won't be able to review your book in the time frame we agreed upon. I have to much to do, thanks to its pages, and I don't have time to write up a full book review. I'd offer to return it to you, but I am using it.
Sincerely,
Tara Ziegmont from FeelsLikeHomeBlog.com
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
You are not a weirdo. Quite the opposite, I'd say you are a maven of cleanliness. I know that I'm a homemaking putz, but - really -I didn't have a clue.
Kristine Needleman says
Awesome non review! Exactly the kind of review that just might motivate me to buy the book myself!
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
Thanks Kristine 🙂
GAHCindy says
Owwww! I have to go scrub my kitchen. Now I'm paranoid.
Heather Solos says
Tara, I'm glad you like the book. I loved the review.
For everyone else, the fridge, window & cupboard vacuuming were from a walk-through of deep clean. The kind of clean where your white-glove wearing mother-in-law is on her way. I do NOT suggest you do that every week, not by any stretch of the imagination.
Blessedwithgrace says
LOVE this review. And, I am feeling pretty bad about my house cleaning habits at this very moment. Gee, I think I need this book as well. 🙂
One2OneNetwork says
I've been reading the book straight through but having to seriously suppress the impulse to get up and do things that Heather suggests in the book. If I did, I would be in the exact situation you describe, plus I would probably end up staying up for 24 hours straight because one task would lead to another would lead to another and so on!
~Malia
Lolli says
That was the BEST book review I've read in a long time. Maybe ever. 🙂
Kristy says
Bahahahaha!!! This had me in stitches! Best book review EVER! But now I feel like I should go vacuum my refrigerator coils... 😉
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
Thanks 🙂
Sheila Gregoire says
Awesome review! Really funny! And I didn't know I had refrigerator coils, either. Are they at the back or at the bottom? And how do you vacuum them?!?!
Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum.