Allie's birthday is December 28, three days after Christmas. The poor girl has a birthday between Christmas and New Year's. Talk about rotten luck.
I remember that December 24 and 25 and 26 and 27 and 28 in 2010, and I remember how long the days were and how much I hated being on bedrest and how uncomfortable I was. I was so ready to have the baby out and be done with pregnancy bedrest.
Even though she was a couple of weeks early (like four), she was born because my blood pressure was so high. And she lost the birthday lottery.
Although in truth, I'm not sure that a late January birthday is all that much better than a late December one, but at least there's no Christmas in January.
So the real reason for my post today is not to discuss my pregnancy but rather to share what you should and shouldn't do for December birthdays.
Not that I am an expert being that my birthday is in July (summer = best time for birthdays), but my daughter and my husband both have birthdays the week of Christmas (Joe is December 23), so I know what I'm talking about here.
Do's and Don't's of December Birthdays
- DO separate the birthday from Christmas as much as possible. This means an honest to goodness birthday cake, presents that are wrapped in birthday paper, birthday decorations, and birthday traditions.
- DO go for an experience instead of a birthday party. People are partied out when it comes to the Christmas season, and I have found that not too many people come to birthday parties during that time. More on parties later. What we have done several years in a row is to do a family experience with the birthday girl at the front and center. One year, we went to the Great Wolf Lodge which is amazing but a bit pricey. This year, we're going to spend the night at the Hershey Lodge which will give us two whole days in their Water Works fun zone.
- DO give an experiential gift instead of more toy clutter. Toys are nice, but after getting Christmas loot, they get lost in the crowd. Some popular gifts here have been:
- A date with Mom (one on one time) at the special movie theater with recliners
- A zoo or museum membership that will allow you to visit free all year long - but it has to come with a special date to go with Mom or Dad (or both) and just the birthday kid
- DO take her to the toy store. Your sweet one may have gotten loads of Christmas presents, but she might like to be in control, too. Give her a gift card to the toy store with a coupon for a special date with Mom or Dad. Go out for hot cocoa or ice cream and make a special trip of it. Allie has been asking to get to go to Walmart and pick out her own special toy for months. That's all she wants for her birthday. If you feel like you must buy a toy or present to wrap for her birthday, check out this list of non-tech toys or my gift guide. They're intended for Christmas, but the gifts are good for year-round giving.
- DO turn the tree into a birthday extravaganza. Cover it with streamers and balloons and the kind of bows that you put on birthday packages (NOT Christmas bows!). The idea is to stop having Christmas for one day and make it all about a special birthday.
But here's the thing.
She doesn't know any different, and she's perfectly okay with her December birthday.
I am going to push this year for a half birthday party, just to spread out Allie's gift receiving, but I tried it when she was a toddler and it didn't work out too well.
The bottom line is that what makes a birthday special isn't really the shape of the cake or the wrapping on the gift. It's a loving family who makes the birthday kid feel valued and important - and you can easily do that using this list even if you skip the party all together.
I asked Joe once whether he felt cheated by having a birthday two days before Christmas. "No," he said. "My mom always made a big deal out of my birthday, and I knew it was special. It didn't matter when it happened."
That's success.
Kathleen Curry says
What a brilliant, informative, and timely post! Thanks!!
Alex says
My son's birthday is on the 29th and it relate SO MUCH! I always try to do something special for him. I'm going to try to make a priority every year for him. I love this article, it's so perfect.
Thank you!
Peter says
Interesting that post-December 25 babies wait for the upcoming gifts. It's great that they aren't given combined gifts. It save people so much time and money to give one card and one gift wrapped in Holiday paper. One sock for Christmas and one for birthday is a classic. I'm a December 24 baby. Please know that the experience gift is a good idea, but still a consolation prize for the parties they will rarely if ever have. Of course, her friends won't come over if you try for a party, but will expect gifts at their own parties. It also reinforces the idea that her birthday is different from everybody else's--and she, uniquely, gets nothing to show for it. Half-birthdays? Not serious; try that in a restaurant some time.
Tara Ziegmont says
Well, actually, we did a half birthday party for Allie this year. It was a great success. Her friends all came. We also went out to a restaurant and told them that we were celebrating her birthday, and they sang and made a fuss. She said it was the best birthday ever.
Peter says
I am happy to stand corrected. Good for her!
Betsy says
My birthday is on December 25th and I have milked half birthdays for all they're worth! I love celebrating my half birthday! Its not the same as a birthday party on the same day, but it's special and quirky and totally up to me when exactly I do it and - outside in nice weather! (Currently 27 years old)
Sara says
My birthday is also on December 25th, and always celebrated on another day and even on my half-birthday! My family always joked and said one year I had 3 birthdays because I milked it that much! Now that I am older I look back and hated if I had to celebrate my birthday near/on the day because no one could enjoy it with me, with that being said now that I am turning 30 this year I am all for just the experience with loved ones. Going/doing something cool (like great wolf lodge) sounds like SO much fun! Last year we rented a party bus and went on a light tour with my nieces and son, BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! I know a tangible gift is cool, but I'm all for the memories now they last longer! 🙂
patrice swenson says
My sons is on the 24th....and while he doesn't seem to mind the date he doesn't understand why he can't have an actual party on his birthday. I love the birthday tree idea. I am going to do that this year. I always try to make a point of Christmas eve being his day. Thanks for the ideas.
Michele says
This is a great article. My son's birthday is Dec. 17th. We always celebrate his birthday with mom, dad, and sisters on the day but save a fun filled family party for the summer. He loves having "two" birthdays along with 2 cakes every year. We usually have a birthday cookie or cupcakes in Dec. and let him pick a bakery cake for his summer party. Aunts, uncles, and grandparents don't always agree with holding their gifts until summertime but most have come around over the last 8 years!
Angie W. says
As one who has a son with a December 16 birthday, these are great tips. My son is 21 now and it's not as big a deal to him, but in all his younger years, we made a concerted effort to not even start decorating until after his birthday. My own birthday is December 22 and I always felt cheated out of the celebration so I wanted to make sure he never felt the same. I think it gets hard when you try to have other people follow your lead, but at least his immediate family made the effort.
Danielle Miller says
December 13th baby here, and while we're at it, December 14th birthday as well (my brother was born 3 years and one day after I was). Needless to say, I have never had a singular birthday to myself until I turned 21. It was either lumped in with Christmas (my dad was famous for that one) or me and my brother had one big day to celebrate both days. I firmly ascribe to the thought that December babies should get separate days from Christmas for their birthdays, and me and my husband have made it a sort of tradition to go out to a movie and lunch/dinner on my birthday. He didn't realize how big of a deal it was that I wanted a birthday separate from Christmas until we dated, and I guess it made my family realize that I'd rather not be the afterthought during the holiday season. If any of my children had gotten the curse of the December birthday, I would have made sure that they got their own special day as well. Thankfully, I managed to have all three in the spring/summer, so they got lucky there. I'd never wish my experiences with my birthdays on anyone.
Angie says
My son is turning 3 on December 21st, which happens to cal on a Wednesday this year. Not sure whether to have a party for him on his actual birthday (Wednesday), knowing it is mid-week, or push it to Friday the 23rd, which is a day before Christmas Eve… both scenarios I’m not too thrilled with, but leaving it any longer, we’re looking well into the new year and I do think that’s right. Any suggestions?
Tara Ziegmont says
I would ask the people you want to come to the party and get a sense when most of them can or would be willing to come. I can give you all the suggestions in the world, but if the people you want to be there can't make it on one day or the other, my advice would be pretty meaningless.
Cecilia says
Thank You so much for the great ideas. Both of my kids are December baby's (14th and 16th, 5 years and two days apart). I try to make their birthdays as fun and memorable as possible. They get to pick there theme and each of them gets a cake to there liking. We will have to try a half birthday this year. I know they would love that!
deaner smith says
My daughter is 19 now and she was born on December 25 ever since I can remember we've been putting up 2 Christmas trees for her on both sides of the living room between the fireplace she loves it one tree is decorated for Christmas with present underneath it wrapped in Christmas wrapping and the other one decorated in her birthday theme that changes ever year and wrapping paper in the same birthday theme if I can find it so she has a birthday and Christmas in one
sajoia says
My son´s birthday is on December 26 and from the day he was born I made it very clear that they are two separate day and will always be treated as such and if those rules cant be respected please dont bother. So far it has worked and every year we change the tree over night into a birthday tree with all new gifts. We go out after and enjoy a nice day doing what ever we see fit for him at the time. Once back home its a mini party with cake ice cream ect. So far so good, we try to take him different places each year too. For a while I was worried he would grow up hating it but he doesn't and Ive done most of if not everything in this list.
Kate says
Thank you for posting this! My husband’s a Christmas Day baby, my brother’s birthday is the 23rd (which was also my parents’ anniversary), & I also have a couple of friends who are Christmas Day babies. I love the idea of decorating the tree in birthday decorations and especially love the idea of having 2 trees so that the emphasis of there being 2 holidays celebrated is even more pronounced.
Natasha says
My birthday is on Christmas itself- Dec 25th! And it is my 18th this year and have no clue what to do for it! I've also never had a day where my birthday is celebrated on its own, like the 25th is always a blend of Christmas and birthday. Sometimes it feels like my birthday is just swallowed up by Christmas although my mum does try to make it special. As this year is a special birthday I would love it to be a bit different but don't know how!
sophie says
My birthday is on the 26th and my moms is the 27th and my dads is the 28th. The one thing I hate is that my friends are usually never available on my birthday. I’m turning 14 this year and have no idea what to do. My parents are divorced so I have to spend half my birthday with each parent. Hopefully a friend of my will be able to do something with me!
Harold Burton says
Star Fox/Starwing was not only the very first SNES game we ever got, but it was the first ever video game I ever played. And even though it looks dated now, I still enjoy playing it now and again. And I also play Super Mario World too. What? No Super Star Wars, Super The Empire Strikes Back, Super Return of the Jedi, Mario Paint or The Mask? Not even as honourable mentions?
Harold Burton
Eric says
Mine is on the 26th. As a kid, more often than not I knew ahead of time what I was getting for my birthday: the one thing I asked for on my Christmas List that I didn't get. There were even years in which my parents had my birthday present sitting next to the Christmas presents, and I had the option of opening it for Christmas or wait a day. When I was a little kid, which option do you think I chose? They really did their best to make my birthday seperate from Christmas otherwise, and tried to make sure the day was all about me. But grandparents I saw on Christmas or Christmas Eve? Yeah, I was getting my birthday present at the same time as Christmas. It got to the point where birthday was just blended in with Christmas.
But #2 was definitely a "the struggle is real" moment. Even as an adult, its tough to plan get-togethers. Just like the summer babies, theres was no birthday cupcakes in class, and my college buddies had to wait until the middle of January to help me celebrate my 21st properly.
Kenzie says
I hated my 22nd of December birthday growing up. There was always a tree overshadowing any balloons and everywhere was busy and expensive. All my gifts were combined into "birthmas" and I never got anything fun for summertime, always fuzzy winter socks (which I loved but gets old.) However, I always appreciated the effort my mom (who has an early Dec birthday) put into trying to make my birthday about me, since I was often overlooked with 3 other kids in the house. The by far worst part about having a birthday right before Christmas was how my friends handled it. When we were kids, they were too busy visiting family, when we were teens and didn't have much extra income, a birthday party for me was skipped in favor of a Christmas party for everyone, as adults it's nearly impossible for anyone to take time off from work and my birthday has simply been forgotten more than once. As I get older, and everyone seems to agree that birthdays matter less and less, I can't help but mourn the uncelebrated birthdays of my youth that should have been a bigger deal. More often than not, I spent spent years of my 16th birthday and on, sad and alone. The only person who's managed to keep my birthday separate from Christmas and do all they can to make me feel special, is my husband, who doesn't celebrate Christmas anyways.
Take my story as a cautionary one, and give any December birthdays you know lots of love because they likely need it to make up for when there wasn't any.
Rebekah says
Oh these are great ideas! I’m in the same boat, daughters is 12/27, hubbys is 12/14 and mine is 6/4