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Why I Need to Date My Husband

The best way for a couple to improve their marriage is to go on regular date nights. Here's why you need to have them, full of great quotes!

I’ve finally found someone who makes me feel like my life has just begun

That’s a line from a Toby Keith song that I listened to on repeat for hours in the months after I met my husband. I was a crazy person, smitten with Joe Ziegmont.

Look at him. How could I not be smitten?husband of a mom blogger

Joe could do no wrong. He was smart and sexy and strong and the mere thought of him made my heart flutter.

Then we got married and had some kids and I could hardly think of anything nice to say about the poor fella at all.

(Until I saw this picture, but that’s another story.)

Our five year anniversary is coming up this summer.

We are married; we live together. We are moving in the same direction with the same goals. We care for the same people in the same space. We eat and sleep together and use the same bathroom.

We do almost everything side by side, but we need to spend some time gazing into each other’s eyes.

We’ve lost our schmoopy stars-in-our-eyes-just-for-each-other feelings. We argue a lot, no doubt the result of stress related to our life changes. We assume the worst of each other.

We have failed to work on our marriage.

We don’t need to read books or see a counselor or take an inventory of our relationship.

We need to go on dates.

Without distraction.

Without babies.


As you know (if you have small children), it is inconvenient to go out on dates. There are sitters and jobs and housework to coordinate. It feels like more trouble than it’s worth.

But it’s so important.

So we are going to schedule weekly at-home dates, my handsome husband and I.

It won’t matter whether we’re reading a book together or I’m beating him at Scrabble, as long as we’re gazing at each other. 

© 2011 – 2018, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

7 thoughts on “Why I Need to Date My Husband”

  1. Dating is so important–but I don’t think that it’s the “going to a restaurant and making chit chat” that is the important thing. It’s just that you reserve time on a regular basis to connect, to talk, to share. And I don’t think it matters HOW you do that as long as you do do it. My husband and I used to play squash regularly, and we loved it. We’d laugh together, and sweat together, and it was good. Then the squash club closed. In the summer we play tennis. But we do something, create memories, so we can smile. I wrote a post on why dating is so necessary recently, but it’s really more just about spending time together–however you manage to do that! Otherwise life is just one big parenting roller coaster, and there’s nothing really holding you together.

  2. You are so right!  Going out on a date is so inconvenient!  As a mom entering back into a new season of parenting with a small child at home (we were a blended family of 5 with 3 kids 9 and older and now have a 1 1/2 yr old!) I have re-discovered how difficult it is to find the time.  You have to be intentional – no if’s and’s or but’s!  (or is that butt’s??)  I liked your line “We’ve lost our schmoopy stars-in-our-eyes-just-for-each-other feelings.”  I kinda feel like that as well, so will plan a date night at home with my hubby this next week – to find that “schmoopy” feeling! 

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