I have been overwhelmed by my life lately. I'm not sure if it's PPD lingering or if it's overcommitment or a combination, but I am struggling with my new role as a full-time work-at-home-mom of two.
Struggling is the tip of the iceberg, to tell you the truth.
I feel like a fraud.
I have been getting emails from other moms asking how I do it. They say things like,
I feel like such a failure. I wish I knew how you manage to keep it all together!
You're doing so many things, and you're so successful! How do you do it?
Can you come over and teach me how to cook? I just can't find the time to learn.
Except. Really, if I'm honest with myself and with you, I most certainly do not have it all together.
Not even close.
In fact, most days, I am up well past midnight, while everyone else in my house is asleep, trying to finish the last minute, this-must-get-done-before-I-go-to-bed tasks related to my blog and business commitments.
My home is gathering dust bunnies in corners and other untraveled spaces. The mirrors and windows are smudged and the carpets are dirty. The decluttering that is so desperately needed is forever on hold.
There is just not enough time in the day.
I maintain two written schedules, one in Google calendar and the other on paper in a MomAgenda, but I still forget to do things.
I need a better system.
Months ago, I downloadedÃ‚ Amy Lynn Andrews‘ e-book, Tell Your Time. I had high hopes, especially after hearing Crystal Paine speak about it at the Relevant Conference.
And then, I downloaded Mandi Ehman's e-book, called Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too.
Reading these books, by themselves or together, is not helpful in taming one's schedule. One must take the time to sit down and actually work the solutions presented in the books.
A few things are non-negotiable in my life.
- Income – I have to contribute to our family's budget or bills will go unpaid.
- Personal & professional satisfaction – I have skills that companies need, and I enjoy being able to help them. Being smart and competent is important to my sense of self worth.
- Time with my girls – I quit my teaching job to stay home with my girls, and I refuse to look at them from the other side of a laptop screen. When I am home alone with them, I limit my computer time to a bare minimum.
- My Marriage – I have a tendency to hand Joe the baby and hide behind my computer screen when he's home. It's not working. I have to make time for him in my schedule.
- Family & friends – Hard as it is, I need plan to stop working and socialize.
- Church – We go to Sunday morning services, Sunday school, and I attend an evening Bible study during the week.
So with that list, I am going to sit down and work through Amy's and Mandi's e-books again, in earnest. I hope they make a difference.
How do you manage your schedule as a work-at-home-mom?
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