Silent Children are Up to No Good and 30 Other Parenting Truths

1. You are never going to feel caught up.
2. Your children will leave the house without underwear at embarrassing times.
3. Silent children are up to no good, almost always making a giant mess somewhere.
4. Other people probably don't find your children and their shenanigans quite as cute as you do.
5. You are the parent; act like it! Raise a kid that other people want to be around. (from Jacqueline)
6. Children never nap long enough. Or children nap too long and then stay up half the night.
7. You will pick up the same toys over and over, every day, and every time, you will think, "Why can't they put their toys away when they're finished with them!?" and vow to put them in toy jail next time.
8. You could clean the space in which your children play five times a day, and it will look like you haven't cleaned for days as soon as you turn your back.
9. You will have to call Poison Control and/or an ambulance before your kids grow up.
10. Toddlers make messes by breathing.
11. You are going to forget something every single time you leave the house. Hopefully, it's not one of your children.
12. Some children stuff things up their noses and into their ears. Yours is probably one of them.
13. Even good mothers bribe their children with goodies when they're out in public.
14. Running water does not mean hands are being washed (or teeth being brushed).
15. There is no quiet in a restaurant like children enchanted by an iPad.
16. The things your children can do for themselves, they will want you to do for them. The things they do badly for themselves, they will insist on doing for themselves.
17. You will clean pee and/or poop from your carpet before your kids are potty trained.
18. You're not a bad mom if you occasionally turn on the television when your children are fighting, overtired, or just need to be busy and out of trouble for ten minutes.
19. Many days will pass, and you may forget the last time you showered.
20. You will always worry about whether or not you have what it takes to be the mom they need. (from Brooke)
21. Your kids will wear whatever they want. It's more important for them to feel confident and like themselves than it is for them to match or for you to not be embarrassed. (from Connie)
22. Sleep is more important than anything. Do whatever it takes for the people in your house to get as much sleep as possible. (from Amanda)
23. Your bed is the most comfortable bed in the house. (from Lolli)
24. Your food always tastes better than theirs. (from Lolli)
25. The box a toy comes in will be more played with then the toy itself. (from Deb)
26. If you want your kids to eat more veggies, then fix yourself a plate and get comfy on the couch. (from Annie)
27. In a roomful of toys, the empty plastic bottle will be the most coveted and highly fought over. (from Jill)
28. When you hear a loud crash upstairs, count to 5. If no one cries, don't rush up there. (from Andrea)
29. If your teenager hides her phone as soon as you walk in the room, you need to check that phone ASAP. (from Jennifer)
30. Siblings fight when they're together and ache for each other when they're apart.
31. They all grow up too quickly.

What would you add to the list?