Two years ago today, I shared some lofty goals here on Feels Like Home. I said I was going to read through the Bible in 90 days, lose 100 pounds in 12 months, and pay off at least 50% of our family's debt.
I have chosen this week to make some changes in my life and to set some goals, and I'd like to share them with you.
Before I do, I am going to admit for you and the rest of the internet that I don't like hard work. I have shied away from it again and again, whenever it presented itself.
In college, I dropped classes that presented a challenge. In graduate school, I became angry with professors whose work required me to turn my brain on. I read easy, mindless books. I stay away from politics, and I don't discuss religion. I've had lots of excuses, but it boils down to one thing Ã¢â‚¬“ laziness.
Now that I'm aware of my own laziness, I'm changing it. I've committed myself to activities that are going to be challenging for me. Publicly, so that I have pressure to continue, not to give up.
It's going to be hard. I'm going to get frustrated. I'm going to persevere.
And I'm going to be successful.
I meant every word, but I let circumstances and excuses get in my way.
I made it halfway through the Bible in 90 days before my work schedule changed, and I lost my reading time. I was reading a few hours every weekend to keep up, but being behind became overwhelming. I gave up.
I had a good excuse.
Our debt doubled, the result of a variety of factors.
I had a lot of good excuses.
The weight loss went really well at first. I'd lost something like 30 pounds when I got pregnant. My doctor sternly told me that I could not try to lose weight while I was pregnant, so that was the end of that.
I felt like my stomach had turned inside out. I felt like I'd been pummeled by a kangaroo. I didn't exercise; I didn't even try to eat healthy foods. On the contrary, I ate a lot of cheese and ice cream while I was pregnant.
Allie should have very strong bones and teeth.
Pregnancy was another good excuse.
I'm full of them, good excuses.
A few weeks ago, when I was not looking for one, I learned about a weight loss program that focuses on the whole person. It includes support from others, healthy eating, exercise, and (most importantly) a strong, daily relationship with God. I'd never seen anything like it.
This isn't a sales pitch. I'm not even going to tell you the name of the program.
It does have me excited, though.
I'm leading the group at my church. I don't feel at all equipped to lead a weight loss program, but God doesn't call the equipped, right?
This isn't a New Year's resolution. I may not lose 100 pounds this year; I'll be okay with whatever as long as I feel good, vibrant, unencumbered. It's not about the number.
It's about the progress. I'm going to hold on. I'm not going to make excuses.
I have answered His call. I have made an intention. I have committed myself to God and four other women. We are going to be healthier, and we are going to lose weight. We're going to do it together.