I wasn't going to post anything today, but then I had what can only be called a moment of lunacy in the middle of the night, so here you go.
My moment for your enjoyment.
I am sitting in my living room,Ã‚ looking at my (darkened but still very bright) computer screen in the dark, wide awake at 12:54 in the morning.
Because I am insane.
About twenty minutes ago, I woke up in a cold sweat in between a cat, a child, and 2 stuffed reindeer because I was sure - absolutely 100% certain - that I hadn't paid my quarterly car insurance premium in September.
Car insurance is a legal requirement to drive in the state of Pennsylvania. You have to have car insurance.
I laid in bed, awake and terrified, for about 30 seconds before bolting out of the room, downstairs, and to my computer.
You know, because paying it right that second would somehow mitigate the fact that my policy had been dropped for nonpayment and I'd been driving my kids around for the last month and a half without insurance and it would make me less guilty than paying it in the morning like a rational person.
I can laugh about it now.
I had to sit on the edge of the chair because the snoring cat was occupying ¾ of the seat. He saw no urgency in my plight, and I didn't have time to move him. My breathing was fast and shallow.
I couldn't find the website address of the insurance company. My heart was beating in my ears.
I searched my email box. I have kept the last five years' worth of emails, so I knew I would find a statement or a newsletter or something there.
Oh no!Ã‚ I gasped.Ã‚ It's a sign! The insurance company has been totally deleted from my life!
I am not making this up.
I finally found a statement from May, another sign that my policy was grossly past due and probably cancelled. I clicked the link, filled in my username and password, and I got a red error message:
This application is experiencing a problem. Please try later. Thank you for your interest in ABC Insurance. Call our customer service for assistance.
I was holding myself together (or at least telling myself to hold it together), but I felt tears welling up in my eyes. How could I have failed so miserably as to have our car insurance account completely deleted from the internet system?
I wish I was making this up. No, I really had this moment, and I'm really writing about it at an unseemly hour of the night. You're welcome.
Shaking, I dialed the number on the screen and looked up my insurance policy in AboutOne. Simultaneously. Because seconds count.
My hands were shaking, and I messed up typing in my policy number. Ã‚ The automated fake friendly voice asked,Ã‚ "Would you like me to repeat that?"
"YES! Repeat it!" I gasped, trying to be loud enough to hear but quiet enough not wake anyone upstairs.
"Your account is paid in full. Your last payment of 237 dollars and 84 cents was received on August blah blah blah." I stopped listening at paid in full and breathed a big delicious breath of cool night air.
Paid in full.
Nothing is cancelled.
And I have lost my mind.
Please leave a comment and tell me you've done something as ridiculous as this so that I will not feel quite so silly.
Now that I've confessed my lunacy, I'm going to get myself a drink of water and go back to bed.