This week's Honoring the Man They Call Daddy theme is setting the stage. What can we do to make our homes more welcoming and more comfortable for our husbands?
I wasn't sure where to start, so I asked Joe what that would look like.
“Uh, I dunno,” he answered.
Not satisfied with that answer, I pressed, and he said, "I don't really need too much. A little pampering, maybe. A foot massage." Here's what else he said (plus a few things I added in on his behalf).
How to make your home more welcoming for your husband
- Greet him with a smile and a smooch when he walks in the door. When I asked Joe what would make our home more welcoming to him, he grinned and said, "Well, if no one was screaming when I opened the door, that would be a good start."
The last week or two have been that rough, Dear Reader.
Then he said, "It would be nice if everyone could smile at me and say hello." You know what? That would be nice. I greet strangers with a smile and a kind word, so why not greet my husband that way?
Why not, indeed.
There have been many days when I didn't greet him at all, let alone greeting him kindly. - Clean it up. The stereotype is that men will live in filth, but I think they notice when the house is tidy and neat or if it's a complete wreck.
We had a discussion about this not long ago because Grace had been strewing her toys all over the living room just before he came home. Even though I picked up the toys three or four or five times every day, the only thing that mattered to him was that they were all over the place when he came home from work.
Now, I let the toys lay in the morning, and I make a concerted effort to clean them up just before I expect him to arrive home. - Have dinner waiting when he gets home. When Joe said this, I gave him a stern look. I almost said, "Seriously? You must be kidding. I am working from home and taking care of these two needy children, and you want me to cook, too?"
I refrained.
I'll try to do this, but I can't make any promises. - Keep snacks and drinks that he likes on hand and protect them from the children. I may not be hopeful about making dinner for him every night, but I sure can have snacks that he likes in the cupboard. String cheese? Check. Tortilla chips? Got 'em. Salsa? Yep.
- Kick the children out of his chair. There is a chair in our living room in which Joe has always liked to sit. He sat in that chair before we were married, before he lived here. There's nothing special about it; it's rather old and shabby.
But he likes it.
And.
So does Gracie.
They fight over the chair, my strong-willed girlie and my people-pleasing husband. I'm going to step in and keep Grace out of it when he's home. - Make room for his hobbies. Joe loves to do three things at night, after the kids are in bed. He likes to play college football on his Play Station. He likes to play a basketball-related board game. He likes to watch tv shows.
Out of respect for my kind and generous husband, I make sure he has enough space and time to enjoy them. - Turn off the lights and burn some candles. Joe would never admit this, but he loves candles. When we met, he had all sorts of candles around his house. He would love it if we ate dinner or watched tv or played a board game by candlelight.
- Give him the remote. Joe likes to have the remote. If it's that easy to make him happy, I'm delighted to give it to him.
Setting the stage for your man is important to making him feel loved and respected. Think about what you can do today to make your life and your home more welcoming to him.
Laurie says
I love this list! And I'm happy to see that I'm already doing most of them some of the time - ha! I am going to use your words to inspire that to become ALL of them ALL of the time! Thanks so much! Pinning it and passing it on...
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
Thank you so much! I don't do as many of them as I should. I'm a work in progress.
Jamie @ See Jamie blog says
I think item #1 is so often ignored! I do make an effort to do this because it is a big deal. I'll have to ask my husband what else would be on his list.
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
Yes! I can't wait to hear about it!
JessieLeigh says
I love this post, Tara, and I love that it reveals how important it is that we each know our own husbands! Â My guy couldn't care less if there are toys strewn about, but he would be one sad dude if supper weren't cooked. Â 🙂 Â I think it is fabulous that your guy loves candlelight- what a lovely way to make time together special... even if you're just playing a video game! Â Excellent list.
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
During December, we eat by candle light every single night. We light the Advent wreath candles before dinner, and Grace always turns the light off. It's so special and fancy. 🙂 Love it.
GAHCindy says
You don't cook dinner for him? I ask this out of complete ignorance: what do you people eat for dinner? We'd never eat if I didn't do it!Â
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
Nope. Most of the time, he cooks while I wrangle children. We came to that arrangement a long time ago because he prefers cooking over wrangling, and I don't care one way or the other.
The Prudent Homemaker says
We work to have everyone clean up before dinner. It really helps!
My husband dislikes candlelight immensly (he says that he likes to see what he is eating), so we skip that one at my house.
My husband has been working from home for many years; today is the first day that he left early again. He's expecting some late nights, so I don't know what our greetings will look like yet, but I know I'll have a plate of food in the refrigerator waiting for him for whenever he gets home.
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
That is so kind! I'm hoping that I'll be able to take over more of the cooking after Allie gets a little bigger. My girls are just. so. needy. right now.
SheilaGregoire says
Amen! Great list. I'd add one more: put on some lipstick and run a brush through your hair. Look like you want him to enjoy looking at you! Like you took care in your appearance. The way we Say Hello is so important because it sets the stage for the whole evening, and lets the kids know how we value our spouses!
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
Yes, that's right! Amy from The Finer Things in Life wrote a great post on this topic. She said something along the lines of this - "When I stay in my pajamas all day, I wouldn't want to come home to me!" It really got me to thinking. I've gotten dressed and done my hair (to the extent that you "do" long curly hair) every day since.
Granted, it's only been two days, but every good habit has to start somewhere, right? 🙂
Mandi @ Life...Your Way says
We had that exact same conversation when Sean was working outside the home. He asked that we simply acknowledge he was home and look -- gasp -- happy to see him! Kinda glad to know I'm not the only one!
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
Definitely not. I have read every one of your posts in this series, nodding my head. I think we're living parallel lives or something. 😉
Jenna Pearson McLucas says
What a great reminder to SMILE! Thank you (and Joe)! Â 😉
Christine says
Amen! Â Thanks for posting these important ideas. Â We can't let life get in the way of treating our husbands like the most important person in our lives.Â
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
I know! Most of the time, he treats me like the most important person in his life, but I don't treat him that way. Rather than sitting around and worrying about it, I need to just do things differently.
This series has been really life changing for me. It's not often that we sit down and think about how to treat our husbands better, you know?
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
I know! Most of the time, he treats me like the most important person in his life, but I don't treat him that way. Rather than sitting around and worrying about it, I need to just do things differently.
This series has been really life changing for me. It's not often that we sit down and think about how to treat our husbands better, you know?
Patricia Nyawir says
Thank you for promoting peace in our families.
Kim Ann Young says
I love this post! I was married to my high-school sweetheart for 31 years until he passed away. Never stop greeting each other when you come in the door and I would add to also say goodbye to each other when you're leaving in the morning. My husband greeted me with a kiss every single morning when he got out of bed, no matter where I was in the house. It's sometimes quite shocking for husbands to find out how much of your time and attention they now must share when children come along. But defending your husband's right to have his chair is going to make your husband feel like he's still special to you and it's also going to show your children how important he is to you. On my Wednesdays off I would rush around and straighten up the house right before my husband got home. And he always commented about what a nice job I did cleaning the house that day LOL. I did try to have dinner ready on my Wednesdays off because he like to eat when he got home from work. But the rest of the week he got home before me so he would get dinner ready. But we discussed the dinner plan and I would have whatever it was out of the freezer or instructions for him to put it in the oven or whatever. I like the candle light idea I think I rarely did that unless it was date night maybe... I think I will incorporate that more into my new relationship. Again great post!