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10 Ways to Respect Your Husband or Boyfriend

10 Ways to respect your husband - These quotes and thoughts about marriage, men, husbands, and boyfriends. How to improve your marriage by showing respect to your husband. Great article about the truths of marriage.

Some time ago, my friend Amy wrote a post about her nice voice. If you haven't already read it, you should.

I'll wait til you're finished.

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I'm not sure if you noticed, but in the comments, I wrote that I am good at giving my nice voice to my girls, but I am awful at letting my husband hear it.

Joe gets, “I need!” and “Can't you?” and “Don't!” and he deserves so much better.

I know that I am not the only one.

Almost ten years ago, a friend challenged me to write a list of 10 gifts that would show my husband love and respect.

I am sarcastic. I can be critical. Sometimes I mean it; sometimes I don't.

The problem with sarcastic and critical – even when you're joking – is that you start to believe the things you say. Because you said them, after all.

Words are powerful.

I brainstormed gifts I could give  to Joe to show him that I respect him.

I thought about showing him that I trust and respect him with our children by going away for a few days, but I'm not sure that's the point.

In the end, I couldn't think of a single gift that would show him respect.

The more I thought about it, I realized that respecting my husband isn't a once a year gift. It's not packaged in pretty paper with a fancy bow. It's a thousand little gestures spread throughout the year.

It's attitudes and thoughts and behaviors.

10 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband

  1. Value your marriage. Spend time with him. Have fun. Enjoy his company as a human being. Pay attention to his words. Having regular date nights is a must, in my opinion because they give you time to focus on one another and your relationship. If babysitting and time away are an issue, check out this list of 45 at-home date night ideas that you can do after the kids are in bed.
  2. Work on a project with him – without taking over. Joe loves to garden, and he loves to can. He would be honored if I took time out of my hectic schedule to help him while he works. It would show him that I respect him enough to give him a hand. BUT if I take over, it has the opposite effect, telling him without words that I don't think he can handle the job.
  3. Give him a break. Joe does so much around the house, and he works a lot of hours (76.5 last week!). He does most of the cooking and most of the clean-up afterwards. He would do anything I asked. On Sunday, I encouraged him to take a nap in the afternoon. I knew he needed it, and he work up feeling so much better. Any husband would love a break – permission and encouragement to do whatever he wants for an hour or two. It shows him that you respect his hobbies and commitments, too.
  4. Ask his advice. Men like to fix things and solve problems. Asking for his advice shows that I value and respect his perspective, wisdom, and experience.
  5. Speak well of him to others. This may well be my #1 crime where Joe is concerned. I find it so easy to think and speak ill of him – in jest or seriously. It just rolls off my tongue. Sometimes, I catch it before it comes out my mouth, but still, the thought goes through my brain. I am trying. I need to build him up; it's so important.
    For both of us.
  6. Write him a love note. Tell him the specific things that you love and appreciate and admire about him. I love this giant heart stuck to the bathroom mirror. I'm planning to do it for Joe one of these days when he doesn't have to leave for work at 5 am.
  7. Thank him. Don't just say “Thank You Dear.” Thank him for specific things – for taking out the trash, for mowing the lawn, for making a lovely dinner. Thank him often.
  8. Compliment him. You picked this fella from among all the fellas in your zip code (and beyond), so he must have some good qualities. Tell him what they are.
  9. Set the mood. You knew this would be on the list, right? Make time for intimacy in your marriage, and your husband will feel respected and valued. This list of 101 intimate ideas are intended for your anniversary, but the vast majority of them are not anniversary-specific. They would be great to set the mood any night of the year.
  10. Keep your big mouth shut. When tempted to criticize or use a harsh word or an unkind tone, just keep your mouth shut. Given the alternative, silence is the respectful choice.

Marriage isn't easy; no one has ever claimed that it was. But it can be easier when both partners feel respected and valued as people and love each other actively. Make it start with you, today.

10 Ways to respect your husband - These quotes and thoughts about marriage, men, husbands, and boyfriends. How to improve your marriage by showing respect to your husband. Great article about the truths of marriage.

© 2018, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

23 thoughts on “10 Ways to Respect Your Husband or Boyfriend

  1. I’m getting pretty good at keeping my mouth shut. :0) I actually don’t have a problem in this area (not too much, anyway. I’m human.) My big problem is with my kids. I really need to be a little gentler with my words to them. Their dad earned my respect a long time ago. Now it’s just a matter of not forgetting who I’m talking to, which is easy, most of the time.

  2. I have to say, I was initially sceptical when I read this post.  I am very strong woman and so often I see my friends (both “real” and blogger) talking about respecting (though it feels more like obeying) their husbands without respecting themselves.  I am SO GLAD I read beyond the title of this post.  What you say rings very true for me.  It is not about respecting your husband as you would a parent, but instead respecting him as a partner just as I hope he respects me.  It sounds like you have an amazing husband, and thanks for sharing.  I am printing this list for myself :) 

    • YES! I am so glad you read and so glad you commented. I do have a wonderful husband. I am also very strong and independent; he is more of a follower. I think we are respecting each other’s natural gifts in the way we operate as a married couple.
      That said, I need to work on being more respectful of him as a human being becauseI’m more respectful of others than I am of him.

  3.  Thanks for sharing, I would love to read more posts on this topic! It is so important that our husbands feel respected and I feel we will feel more honored if we can muster more respect. I have trouble keeping my mouth shut and saying thanks in a really meaningful specific way. 

  4. Thank you for sharing this! I try to work on this, but just before this weekend, my husband was hurt and angry that I didn’t respect him…because I didn’t trust him with some things. EYE opening! I’m going to join, as I think this is a critical topic! Way too many people around me are divorced or getting divorced, and I think that too many spouses think it’s in the other person’s court! It’s only our own behavior we can change…

  5.  One of my favorites is “Speak well of him to others.” That is such an awesome way of honoring him when he is present or when he is absent. I love it!

  6.  One of my favorites is “Speak well of him to others.” That is such an awesome way of honoring him when he is present or when he is absent. I love i

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  8. Another good thing to do is never assume you know why your husband does something bizarre…chances are, there’s a logical thought pattern buried deep within him that makes 100% sense.  Communication can really help uncover that….

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