I love what I do. I love blogging. I love coaching bloggers. I love social media and connecting with people on a meaningful level. I know I am doing the work that God created me to do.
When the work that I love takes my focus, attention, and energy away from my kids, I feel more than a little guilty. Even though it's good for my kids to learn to play by themselves, I feel a pang of guilt because I'm not available.Ã‚ Even though it's good for them to spend time with their dad, I feel the sting of not being there with and for them.
It's a sickness. I'm trying to get over it.
Days like yesterday, when I had to drag the two of them out of the library, kicking and screaming and making a big ole fuss, help my recovery significantly.
Yesterday afternoon, I was featured as a blogging expert on Homeschool Blogging's Twitter Tuesday chat. I was excited to participate – right up until I found out it was happening in the middle of the afternoon. At that point, I'd already committed.
My kids would have to fend for themselves (in the same room as me, of course) for a half hour or so until their father came home.
They were fine. Allie pooped, so I had to step away from the computer for a few minutes, but otherwise, they played together and separately and fought and had a pretty normal afternoon.
When Joe came home, both girls went upstairs with him. I heard Grace say, Shh! Momma has an important meeting with some people on Twitter, and she will be with us shortly, but if it's important, we can interrupt.
It was like a scene in a movie where one person's voice comes out of someone else's mouth: my voice, her mouth.
Before long, I heard Grace asking her Dad how to spell words and Allie cooking, and I focused on the Twitter chat. When it was over, Grace came downstairs. I wrote a book, Momma! A real book! I made it just for you!
She radiated pride as she showed me the cover, bound together with staples, as any good book should be:
“Look at that curly hair wrapping all over the cover of the book! And it says, Rapunzel, on the cover. What a beautiful book this is!”
Now would be a good time to tell you that we haven't seen the movie Tangled in at least six months. Maybe longer. I haven't got a clue what made Grace think of it today.
If you've seen the movie, you probably remember that the witch kidnaps baby Rapunzel.
In typical movie magic, the fella rides in on his six-legged horse and saves the damsel from her tower.
Grace writes W instead of Y and her Ss are backwards. We have things to work on.
Rapunzel might as well be Jane Eyre, except not quite so long and without the crazy ex-wife. The point is that Grace is and will always be a writer, this momma's heart is swollen with pride, and our homeschool is working.
To think, I felt guilty because they had to play without me for a half hour.
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