I have been spending time in self help blogs and cds and websites and books lately.
It's partly the result of my recent diagnosis, but more than that, it's the result of a lifelong
obsession focus on self improvement. It's also the subject of my new blog, to be revealed soon.
I have been reading The Brilliant Woman Workbook, a free download from Tara Sophia Mohr. In it, she asks the question:
What does a knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life look like for you?
And that got me to thinking.
Joe says I overthink. I choose to ponder and reflect on my time, my actions, and my reactions.
Anyway, that one little question left me lost in myself for most of an hour. What does my knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life look like?
I thought about my goals, my priorities, and my obligations. These dribbled from my fingers onto the keyboard:
- I want to be a good mom.
- I want to be a good wife.
- I want to inspire others to live happy, productive, fulfilled lives and to respect their authentic feelings and beliefs.
- I want to please God and do His work.
I want to be a good mom.
I am a good mom. It's a fact, and I believe it deep in my heart.
But I could be a better mom. I could get angry and frustrated less; I could play more. I could bring out more crafts and tell more stories and be more present and more engaged more often.
I want to be better, and I think there's always room for improvement.
I want to be there for every minute of the day, to not need my own time, to make them happy for ever and ever, Amen.
That last part is not at all realistic. Or healthy.
I don't need to be there for my kids every minute of the day. It's okay to have free time to myself. It's okay to spend a few hours each day working from home. It's good for them to learn to entertain themselves and each other and enjoy it.
If I succeed in talking myself into that, I'll let you know.
I want to be a good wife.
Most days, Joe comes home from work and cooks us dinner while I work from the couch, writing and scheduling blog posts (often about cooking, the irony!), responding to emails, doing SEO for clients, or working on my first and second e-book.
I believe that I am not the best wife. I'm not sure if it's self esteem or something else, but I hope for something better for him. I hope for a time when the din will be quieter and the children will listen better and my emotions will be more stable and the house will be cleaner and life will be less cluttered.
Because that's what he deserves (even if I'm not sure that I do).
I want to inspire others.
I'm not sure that this particular post is all that inspiring, but my goal here, on this blog, is to inspire you (yes, YOU) to live a life that is full of whatever it is that you love. I want to help you to live a happy, productive (in whatever way delights you), fulfilled life.
I write posts here about traditions and recipes and activities and my life in hopes that it will inspire you to do some version of those things in your own life, however it makes sense.
Sometimes my posts involve paid product placement, and I always disclose that. Trust me, though, that I get plenty of offers I don't take, and I receive plenty of products that I never talk about. I only share with you those things that honestly play a role in my real life and that I think could somehow benefit your real life, too.
I think strength and success are more inspiring than weakness and failure, and even though I might personally learn from my own debacles, I choose not to dwell on theme here.
Most of the time.
I want to please God and do His work.
I believe that God's divine plan is for me to do the first three things. I believe that He created me to be a good mother. I believe that He uses me to inspire others.
The good wife thing is something that I think He uses to challenge and stretch me, to help me to grow into a better human being.
Now that we've found a church where we know we belong, I think this piece of the puzzle is coming together. I feel complete.
Back to my knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life
My knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life has time for all four of the above. It has time for me to be personally fulfilled through my writing and being able to help others. It has time for love and children and my husband and our Lord.
So I guess the answer, the means to that end, is to find a way to balance it all.
That should be easy, right?
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