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The Things Kids Say

One of the joys of parenting my 3-year-old is listening to her. She talks non-stop during her waking hours.

Non. Stop.

Some of the things she comes up with leave me speechless.

Every day is an adventure.

I am not alone. Other people’s kids come up with crazy things, too.

I have heard all of the following in the past 24 hours:

M-o-o-o-o-o-o-m, I pooped! Can you wipe my butt? The Things Kids Say

Hold your nose; it’s really stinky in here. {Thanks for the warning.}

Who do you think you’re talking to? {No, who do YOU think YOU’RE talking to?}

Those are the bad people. They sticked their tongues out at me, so I sticked my tongue out back at them.

My motor’s running!

(holding a tube of lip gloss) Hold still. I’m going to make you beautiful.

Dad, I can’t read! Remember, Dad? I can’t read!

You are not being very nice to me right now. {I was about to get a lot less nice.}

Allie, how would you like to be the bum? Do you want to be the bum? Do you? DO YOU? {I’m pretty sure she expected the baby to give her an answer.}

Hmm? Hmm?

Let’s use our imaginations! I’ll be the baby and you be the momma. {That’s not imagination, honey; it’s reality.}

I can crack the eggs myself. Really, I can!

It’s okay if there’s a little bit of shell in there, right? {Um, honey. Half of the egg does not qualify as a “little bit” of shell.}

Momma, I picked up the baby all by my self! {Oh, great! Don’t do it again, okay?}

If you’d put it away where it belonged, you would know where it was. {Wonder where she heard that before?}

I’m just faking, Mom.

Actually, it doesn’t.

Say that, Mom. SAY THAT!

You look like a princess.

You’re my super best friend.

I love you, Momma.

You’re the best momma in the whole wide world.

Some of the things she comes up with leave me speechless.

What crazy things have your kids said?

Happily submitted to Give Me Your Best Shot, Finer Things Friday, and I’m Lovin’ It Fridays

© 2011 – 2018, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

17 thoughts on “The Things Kids Say”

  1. I used to keep a notebook to write the silly and crazy things the kids said when they were young. They don’t say quite so many “good” things, but their thoughts have become more thoughtful….and sometimes even more funny because of that!!

  2. LOL I think our daughters would be good friends. My dd Emma is a non-stop talker as well. Her faorite thing to tell me is that I’m her ” E.F.F.” aka Emma’s friend forever LOL

  3. New at our house today –
    Mom: Do you want me to read you the rules [of Crazy 8s]?
    Grace: No, why? I like playing my own way.
    I’m too scared to clean up.
    {after knocking over our game} This is a disaster! {Me thinks we’ve seen too much earthquake and tsunami coverage}

  4. So funny! I was visiting family and one of the moms there went upstairs to check on her twins and one of them yelled at the top of his lungs MOM FARTED!!!! I looked away to laugh…I am sure she was mortified and I know it won’t be long that my son outs me too 🙂

  5. That is so funny! I have a three year old so I totally understand. Chris’s comment reminded me that he used to say “are you eating my sister?” I would tell him “no. I am FEEDING her”, but he would still get mixed up and make this outlandish announcement whenever I breast fed.

  6. Too funny! They sure do say the funniest things. One day after having my youngest daughter, my toddler at the time came up to my belly, poked it and said “You have my baby boy in there, yet?” I said “Nope, just had a baby sister for you.” He said “Oh, your just fat then?” Nice. 🙂

    • Nice indeed. That reminds me of a time when Grace asked my sister to stay and dance with her. My sister said something about dancing with her mother, and Grace replied, “My mom is too fat to dance with me.” I don’t know where it came from, and I know that she didn’t intend to be hurtful, but I was completely stunned.

  7. I have (thankfully) written down every one of Ella’s interesting comments since she was 3 and said, “What about hiccup fish?” I have compiled them all with photos on the Stuff Ella Says page on my blog, and as it turns out, her words are statistically far more popular than mine. (-:
    One of the things she said – totally out of the blue – was “So do we just keep doing this thing over and over again? – You know, being born, then dying?”
    And: “Mommy, I’d think you’d look good in antlers.”
    And: “I think you should go on What Not to Wear but I’m afraid they’ll put all your clothes up the Suckerator.” (-:

  8. That’s great!! Yesterday I overheard my 5yo plotting to make a tornado in his room by turning on the heater and the window a/c and running in circles to get it all spinning. 😉

    Several days ago I caught him picking a cobweb off the window and I asked, “Are you playing with a spiderweb?” He said. “Uhhuh. And if I can find a whole bunch of spider webs without spiders on them I can pretend to be Spider Man!”

    He’s always doing or saying something hilarious. I’m THIS close to starting a blog just for funny things he does and says. Except I already have too many blogs. =p

  9. Oh my gosh! Too stinkin’ funny! I don’t have kids of my own, but I teach 4th graders, so I hear quite a few funny things each day. That is one of the many reasons I work with kids…

    Just found your blog today, and I’m really lovin’ it! So glad to have found you!

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