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Inadequate

I am inadequate.

For almost three months, I have fretted the days away, frustrated that I can't parent two children at the same time.

It's almost harder than I can bear.

I haven't enjoyed my new baby because I've been so focused on how hard she's made my life, how she's complicated everything.

Bed rest, her slow start, her serious illness, her early teething. Nothing is easy with this little baby.

Yesterday, I had a revelation.

I am inadequate.

I'm supposed to be inadequate. We all are.

I am inadequate, but He is more than enough.

He created this little baby, a tiny, wonderful person, and He trusted her to me. He created her to help me learn about patience and perfection and humility and self-reliance.

She is a gift, created by God.

A gift, a blessing, a treasure.

Sometimes, I am a very slow learner.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. –Phillipians 4:13 NKJV

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11 thoughts on “Inadequate”

  1. Oh friend, I know just how you feel! The song that came to my mind was “Over My Head” by Brian Littrell. We’re right where God wants us—relying on Him. *Hugs*

  2. oh, those first three months are so very hard! there is Light at the end of the tunnel, tho. it gets easier, i promise:) my posts were daaaaark when my #2 was 0-3 months. i pretty much worried my mother sick;) but God is good and you are His and he is equipping you to be the exact mother your sweet babes need. grace, mama!

  3. Beautifully raw. I remember feeling quite inadequate when my twins were born. Thinking how much easier it would be just to have one baby to care for. Feeling a bit jealous of the other first time moms, who could give their singleton baby all the time and attention in the world. But God had bigger plans for me – or at least different plans – and I am so grateful for the opportunity He has given me, to learn things about myself and Him that I never knew before. Thank you for this post.

  4. I’m glad you made that realization. I hope you can hold on to it. I haven’t had a second baby yet, so I don’t know how you feel. But I know how inadequacy feels, for sure. Thank you for sharing with us, for being so beautifully honest.

  5. That’s the thing that has been so hard for me. I felt so confident as a mother when it was just Grace. I was good at being her mother. Perhaps that was the problem because I didn’t really need God’s help at it when there was just one. Now, I need His help. A lot.

  6. I want to give you a big hug! Yes, we are all inadequate. We can’t do everything, but we can do so much. Especially when we have really good support. 🙂

  7. It’s very normal for a parent to feel that way.. What is important is we are ready to learn and more willing to give all for our children. Just keep the faith, and He will do the rest..

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