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My Decision

After carefully weighing my options, I decided to go home last night.

The nurses gave me their blessing to go; there was no danger of infection since Allie had been at home just the day before.

Joe stayed with baby Allie, happy to be needed and confident that he could handle her without me.

I brought dinner (from Burger King – a special treat) when I picked Grace up from our friend’s house. She squealed and danced when I opened the front door.mother hen

On the way home, I asked Grace who she wanted to stay with today.

No one, she answered. I’m coming to the hospital with you.

“Oh, Gracie. I really wish you could,” I responded. “But you can’t. There are so many sick babies and children there that you could get sick. I don’t want you to have to stay in the hospital, too.”

Neither of us mentioned the hospital again.

When we got home, Grace sat on my lap, and I put my arms around her. We watched her new favorite tv show on the Tivo (Jake and the Neverland Pirates) while we cuddled and giggled.

By 8 o’clock, Grace and I were both exhausted. We climbed into my big bed together, pulled up the covers, and fell asleep.

Shortly after she began to snore, Grace draped her arm over me.

Waking up in the darkness, my hip tingled, Grace’s arm laid over me, and her body was so close that she may has well have been a chick sitting underneath a hen.

She was taking no chances. She wanted to make sure I didn’t go anywhere; she needed to be close.

She was close.

All night long.

Once, I woke up because I was precariously close to the edge of the bed. If I’d rolled over breathed deeply, I would have fallen to the floor.

We slept twelve hours, cuddled together like fowl.

When we woke, we shared a banana, read books, and called to check on Allie. As the baby whined on her father’s shoulder, Grace said, She’s saying hi to me, isn’t she? She misses me!

The time came for me to shower and return to the hospital, and I hugged and kissed my Gracie Anna and dropped her off at Grandma’s house.

She ran into the house, not at all concerned that I was leaving without her.

What a difference a few hours makes.

© 2011 – 2018, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

11 thoughts on “My Decision”

  1. Such a good thing for both you and Grace. It really sounds like you are so much more at ease today too. Blessings to you my friend… glad to know that baby Allie is doing better today too. 🙂

  2. I am glad she gt the muchneeded time with mommy hun and you got a break. From one who spent 14 days straight in a hospital trust me take a break occassionally..

  3. I remember those first days after I had my second baby. He got sent back to the hospital with jaundice, and I was exclusively breastfeeding, so I had to go with him. I felt so horrible for leaving my 3 year old for yet another two nights! After spending 3 in the hospital having the baby, then only one at home, he was really scared and missing me. I actually found stale peanut butter sandwiches and old raisins secreted about the poor child’s room. I asked him why. The heartbreaking reply: I thought you might not come back, and you’re the one who feeds me. You made the right decision going home. She needed you. I had to stay with the baby because he really did need me more, but I think I managed to get that explained to the older child. Now there are so many of them that they all know mommy belongs to all of them, forever. It’s tough introducing that second baby. You all have to figure out where you fit!

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