This pregnancy has been so very different from my first in so many ways.
It’s been physically different, emotionally different, and it’s becoming more and more different as the end approaches.
When I was pregnant with Grace, Joe and I prepared the nursery months ahead of time. The crib was set up, the rocker/recliner in place, and the walls decorated before I entered my third trimester.
Shelves were erected, filled, and organized. We bought supplies, a stuffed chair, toys, and I can’t tell you what else. Characteristically, I went totally overboard.
We crafted. Joe painted a train using the letters of her name. I sewed receiving blankets and quilts. Joe painted the baby name and some stars to hang on the walls. I made quilted fabric books.
The bassinet sat beside our bed for weeks. We had the car seat installed by a trained car seat technician months ahead of time.
Grace’s clothes were sorted, washed, and stacked neatly inside her dresser.
I made a packing list and had my hospital bag ready to go 3 months before Grace was born.
We couldn’t have been more ready for the arrival of our first baby.
This time… not so much.
We’ve done this baby thing before. We’re having a second girl, so we already have most everything we need.
I’ve had no sense of urgency.
I’ve purchased a couple of outfits for the new baby.
And that’s it.
Oh, no, that’s wrong. I got a Sleepy Wrap, too. I always wanted one with Grace but never had one.
The baby clothes? Unsorted, in boxes in the basement.
The bassinet? Wrapped in plastic in the basement. There’s not even a spot for it next to my bed. Where it needs to sit are stacks of books and toys.
Crib? In pieces in the basement. It will need to be set up in the spare room, but the spare room currently houses two dressers, a twin-sized bed, my sewing supplies, and all of Joe’s clothes.
We don’t have a crib mattress, unless you count the one in Grace’s toddler bed. That she sleeps on each night.
Dresser and changing table? Full of Grace’s clothes, in Grace’s bedroom.
Bottles? We don’t have any. I’m hoping not to need them.
Toys? Newborns don’t need toys, so it should be okay that Grace’s baby toys are all over the house.
Hospital bag? I don’t even remember what I put in it the last time.
And then, yesterday, my obstetrician sent me to the Labor & Delivery ward at the hospital.
My blood pressure has been creeping up over the last few weeks. My doctor took me off work and ordered bed rest. I’m supposed to be avoiding salt and stress.
But yesterday, my blood pressure was so high that the doctor considered delivering my baby. They tested and monitored and talked about the birth of my baby.
Cue the urgency!
Cue the stress!
In the end, my baby wasn’t delivered, but I now know it’s entirely possible. The possibility of delivering my January baby because of my high blood pressure increases with each week that passes.
I’m on bed rest. There’s no cleaning, sorting, washing, or organizing in my future.
I’m feeling a little anxious.
I am wholly unprepared.
Submitted to Friday Fails
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