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It Was Easier To Go To Work

Take care of my 3-year-old for 12 hours is more difficult than teaching high school.

I’m not kidding.

In the weeks since I learned about my pregnancy, I have been counting the days until summer vacation.

So I could rest.

Except.

I haven’t rested yet.

Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve rested plenty, and that’s how I got into the mess I’m about to describe.

Yesterday, my hips were hurting, my lower back was hurting, my belly felt like someone was blowing it up like a balloon, and I was exhausted. My tired, aching body begged for a nap.

It was only 1 o’clock in the afternoon. I couldn’t make it til 4 or 5, when Joe would arrive, so I came up with a plan.

“Grace? Do you want to watch The Wonder Pets?”

I can watch The Wonder Pets? she asked, eying me suspiciously. I rarely allow her to watch tv in the middle of the day. Normally, she gets a half hour when she wakes up, a half hour at bedtime, and maybe Sesame Street from 9 am to 10 am (if we’re not doing anything else).

“Sure. We can lay on the couch together and watch The Wonder Pets.” I didn’t say the rest of the sentence out loud, “and we can both take a nap.”

Grace crawled up with me on the couch, happy to be allowed to watch her favorite show. I turned the tv on and found the The Wonder Pets on the Tivo.

And then I fell asleep. I don’t even know who Linny, Tuck, and MingMing were supposed to be saving.

When I woke up, The Wonder Pets had saved the day, and the Tivo had reset back to live tv. Grace had moved from the nook under my right arm to the nest behind my knees.

And she was drawing on me with a blue marker.blue marker

On my right thigh were polka dots, a circle, and something that looked vaguely like a smiley face.

I gasped.

Prematurely.

While you were sleeping, I colored myself, she declared without emotion.

“You sure did,” I replied. Her face, her hands, her arms, and her legs were smeared dark blue.

Look at my tongue! she giggled, sticking it out. Her tongue and teeth were blue.

“Did you color your tongue?” I asked.

Yes! And my teefs, too!

I’ve had high schoolers do some bizarre things in class, but no one ever colored me at work. This could be a long summer.

Shared at Friday Fails

© 2010 – 2018, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

6 thoughts on “It Was Easier To Go To Work”

  1. Oh, Tara,

    I don’t know when I’ve laughed so hard. I had to read it to my son when I could stop laughing and breathe to do it. He wants to know if the marker was non-toxic. I just wanna know if you took pics!

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