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We’ll Be Okay

We are all safe. I thank God that we are all safe.

My baby is unharmed. I thank God for that, too. I am not unharmed, but I will heal.

Grace is still scared.

My little Pumpkin doesn't have the understanding to process and explain what she experienced. She's told me a couple of times that “our red car is broken,” but she's not said more than that.

If I ask her, Grace says that she remembers the crash, and that she was very scared, but that's all. I don't want to keep bringing it up and reminding her. I'm not sure what to do.

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Grace is much clingier and much more sensitive than normal. She wants constant physical contact with her daddy and her momma.

I'm not sure that I have the understanding to process what happened, either. Like my baby, I'm a little more weepy and a little more sensitive than normal.

I've burst into tears three times today.

My body is healing, but the process is painfully slow. I tried to go to work on Monday, but the pain from my injuries and bruises was unbearable by mid-morning. Since then, I've been mostly laying on my couch, attending daily physical therapy sessions, and doing back exercises on the living room floor. I haven't been back to work.

I'm frustrated with my body. I'm sick of my living room. I'm in pain. I'm scared: of not healing, of missing work, of scarring my baby, of driving, of pain.

I said good bye to my shiny red car. The car I spent months researching and tracking down and haggling over and then buying all on my own. The car that Grace hugged every day after school. The car with the leaky roof and the annoying wheel well. The car with the random household electrical outlet in the dash.Britax Marathon

We said hello to a sparkly blue Saturn Vue. I spent about three hours researching new cars before heading to the Saturn dealership and signing the papers.

Grace likes our new car. Every morning, she sees it and squeals “blue car!” She hasn't hugged it yet, but that will surely come.

When Grace was five months old, I spent three weeks comparing convertible car seats. I checked their crash test scores, read their websites, and found current seast owners. I compared safety standards and comfort features. I settled on the very pricey Britax Marathon, and then I spent another couple of weeks trying to decide which cover would best suit me Gracie.

I figured that a Britax Marathon kept her unharmed in the crash, so another Britax Marathon should replace it. This time around, I had about thirty minutes to find and buy a new car seat so that Grace could come home from day care.

When we picked her up and buckled her into the new seat, Grace scrutinized the new seat and peered curiously at the old seat. She never said a word. She still hasn't mentioned the new car seat.

We are fortunate. We didn't have to say good bye to any of our family members.

Our car and car seat have been replaced, but things are not as they were.

We're not okay, but we will be.

Some day.

© 2009 – 2018, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

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38 thoughts on “We’ll Be Okay”

  1. Hugs to all of you. After our accident my son kept retelling the story over and over again. He told everyone about all of the police cars that came and about the crash sounds that he heard (he was three at the time). He was clingy for a while and did not want to get back into the car. We made sure to do it quickly and let him know that he would be safe.

    I hope that you continue to get better. These days after can be tough because of all of the mental and physical pain. Be sure to take care of yourself and not rush things.

    TheAngelForever’s last blog post..It’s alive again!

  2. Hugs to all of you. After our accident my son kept retelling the story over and over again. He told everyone about all of the police cars that came and about the crash sounds that he heard (he was three at the time). He was clingy for a while and did not want to get back into the car. We made sure to do it quickly and let him know that he would be safe.

    I hope that you continue to get better. These days after can be tough because of all of the mental and physical pain. Be sure to take care of yourself and not rush things.

    TheAngelForever’s last blog post..It’s alive again!

  3. I’m glad you’re getting better and I know it’s not easy. God won’t give you more than you can handle, you know that. Gracie will forget. she’s still young. 🙂 HUGS

  4. I’m glad you’re getting better and I know it’s not easy. God won’t give you more than you can handle, you know that. Gracie will forget. she’s still young. 🙂 HUGS

  5. Praise God you are both okay. Your family will be in my prayers for emotional and physical healing.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

  6. Praise God you are both okay. Your family will be in my prayers for emotional and physical healing.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

  7. Your accident looked huge. It isn’t something you can get over right away. Just work on getting a bit better each day 🙂

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

  8. Your accident looked huge. It isn’t something you can get over right away. Just work on getting a bit better each day 🙂

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

  9. OH MY GOSH. I just caught up on the details. How awful!

    I’ve been very fortunate that we’ve never been in an accident and been injured.. but I’ve been in small accidents before and my small children in the back seat and their fear and me comforting them was the scariest part of the whole thing. I KNOW that feeling.

    I’m so sorry for Grace but I’m so glad that you were both safe and protected. I’m sure that she will need some extra loving for a little while, but I’m sure that she will gain new confidence and security again soon. Children are so resilient. It is us, the mothers, that relive the horrible moments over and over for far longer.

    HUGS to you and Grace.

    [email protected]’s last blog post..Almost there!!

  10. OH MY GOSH. I just caught up on the details. How awful!

    I’ve been very fortunate that we’ve never been in an accident and been injured.. but I’ve been in small accidents before and my small children in the back seat and their fear and me comforting them was the scariest part of the whole thing. I KNOW that feeling.

    I’m so sorry for Grace but I’m so glad that you were both safe and protected. I’m sure that she will need some extra loving for a little while, but I’m sure that she will gain new confidence and security again soon. Children are so resilient. It is us, the mothers, that relive the horrible moments over and over for far longer.

    HUGS to you and Grace.

    [email protected]’s last blog post..Almost there!!

  11. What a unforgettable-scary-surreal moment in your life. Thank GOD you and your sweetie have survived. I was once in a terrible accident (I went through my front windshield)— my son arrived just as I was being moved into the ambulance. He will never forget. I will never forget. But we have both healed. I pray you heal physically and emotionally. I pray Grace heals fully too… it may take time… but I’m sure she will learn and grow from this experience.

    HANG IN THERE!

    Katherine Marie’s last blog post..Mother’s Day Love

  12. What a unforgettable-scary-surreal moment in your life. Thank GOD you and your sweetie have survived. I was once in a terrible accident (I went through my front windshield)— my son arrived just as I was being moved into the ambulance. He will never forget. I will never forget. But we have both healed. I pray you heal physically and emotionally. I pray Grace heals fully too… it may take time… but I’m sure she will learn and grow from this experience.

    HANG IN THERE!

    Katherine Marie’s last blog post..Mother’s Day Love

  13. Great post. You did a good job of explaining your frustrations, pains, anxiety, and fears for yourself, your daughter and all the stuff you are dealing with. I praise God that you were not injured more and that your sweet Grace was unharmed. What a miracle! I can not say that I know what you are going through, because I don’t. I have never been in your situation.
    I will continue to pray that your healing , both physically and emotionally, will progress rapidly.

    [email protected]’s last blog post..There’s Just Something About that Name….Jesus…

  14. Great post. You did a good job of explaining your frustrations, pains, anxiety, and fears for yourself, your daughter and all the stuff you are dealing with. I praise God that you were not injured more and that your sweet Grace was unharmed. What a miracle! I can not say that I know what you are going through, because I don’t. I have never been in your situation.
    I will continue to pray that your healing , both physically and emotionally, will progress rapidly.

    [email protected]’s last blog post..There’s Just Something About that Name….Jesus…

  15. It’s hard to believe that car accidents are so ubiquitous. I wish they weren’t, but I’m glad to know that so many others have gone through the same thing and totally recovered. Thank you all!

    Lisa – I think it’s the ultimate testament to a product that I went back after the crash and purchased the exact same car seat. After

  16. It’s hard to believe that car accidents are so ubiquitous. I wish they weren’t, but I’m glad to know that so many others have gone through the same thing and totally recovered. Thank you all!

    Lisa – I think it’s the ultimate testament to a product that I went back after the crash and purchased the exact same car seat. After

  17. I just found your site through Blogher…I’m glad to read you and your daughter will be fine. I’m also glad you replaced your carseat! Just in case you don’t know.. please take your old carseat to an autobody shop and ask them to cut it up. It is no longer safe, and we all know dumpster divers. It’s the only way to keep another child safe! Again, glad you are all okay!

    • Meighan – Thanks for the great advice. We cut the straps, removed the cover, and then put the seat in a plain brown box with other trash and sealed it up with packing tape. We’re going to set the box out just before the trash truck goes in the morning so there’s no time for anyone to rummage. I feel confident that no one find it and snatch it. Like you said, I don’t want anyone else to grab it and put their child at risk.

  18. I just found your site through Blogher…I’m glad to read you and your daughter will be fine. I’m also glad you replaced your carseat! Just in case you don’t know.. please take your old carseat to an autobody shop and ask them to cut it up. It is no longer safe, and we all know dumpster divers. It’s the only way to keep another child safe! Again, glad you are all okay!

    • Meighan – Thanks for the great advice. We cut the straps, removed the cover, and then put the seat in a plain brown box with other trash and sealed it up with packing tape. We’re going to set the box out just before the trash truck goes in the morning so there’s no time for anyone to rummage. I feel confident that no one find it and snatch it. Like you said, I don’t want anyone else to grab it and put their child at risk.

  19. Well, I’ve been thinking and praying for you… I have been in one really bad wreck and a few rear-enders as well. It is SO frustrating, but I can honestly say, stick with the physical therapy and the exercises, it will, eventually, get better. I had some really down times after my last accident, last July. So frustrated and I got depressed for awhile too.
    I know you will get through this. It is hard when people “see” that you look fine from the accident. They can not “see” the pain inside. I will continue to lift you up in prayer.

    lana’s last blog post..French’s Crunchy Onion Chicken

  20. Well, I’ve been thinking and praying for you… I have been in one really bad wreck and a few rear-enders as well. It is SO frustrating, but I can honestly say, stick with the physical therapy and the exercises, it will, eventually, get better. I had some really down times after my last accident, last July. So frustrated and I got depressed for awhile too.
    I know you will get through this. It is hard when people “see” that you look fine from the accident. They can not “see” the pain inside. I will continue to lift you up in prayer.

    lana’s last blog post..French’s Crunchy Onion Chicken

  21. Lana – YES! YES! YES! You hit it right on the head for me. It’s so hard for me to accept that I have this injury when there are no obvious signs of it. Other people (save my doc, physical therapist, mom and sister – both of whom have serious back problems) don’t get it. They can’t see it. I walk normally, though a little slower than usual. I stand upright, and I can sit for a few minutes at a time. But yet, I’m really hurting. It’s frustrating.

    Thank you for your comment and for your prayers. Every little reminder helps me to refocus on the light at the end of this dark tunnel.

    Tara @ Feels like home’s last blog post..We’ll Be Okay

  22. Lana – YES! YES! YES! You hit it right on the head for me. It’s so hard for me to accept that I have this injury when there are no obvious signs of it. Other people (save my doc, physical therapist, mom and sister – both of whom have serious back problems) don’t get it. They can’t see it. I walk normally, though a little slower than usual. I stand upright, and I can sit for a few minutes at a time. But yet, I’m really hurting. It’s frustrating.

    Thank you for your comment and for your prayers. Every little reminder helps me to refocus on the light at the end of this dark tunnel.

    Tara @ Feels like home’s last blog post..We’ll Be Okay

  23. Thank the Lord you’re okay, Tara, and Grace. That is so scary. I’m so glad that you both have your lives still and pray that your healing and recover are quick and smooth. *big hug* from my family to you and Grace.

    Homemaker Barbi (Danelle Ice)’s last blog post..Giveaway: Wet Ones Huge Prize Pack for Your School + Coupons

  24. Thank the Lord you’re okay, Tara, and Grace. That is so scary. I’m so glad that you both have your lives still and pray that your healing and recover are quick and smooth. *big hug* from my family to you and Grace.

    Homemaker Barbi (Danelle Ice)’s last blog post..Giveaway: Wet Ones Huge Prize Pack for Your School + Coupons

  25. I’m so glad you’re all ok! I just read your last few posts (I follow, but for some reason my blogger doesn’t post when you put up a new post at all), and I’m so glad you’re all alright! I’m sorry about what happened. God was protecting you both!

    My sis in law and her 1 year old got into an accident a while ago too, and they had to get a new car. An old man backed out of a parking spot without looking, and very fast. The back door was jammed and glass was everywhere. Thankfully, her sister was in the back seat and protected my neice from the glass, and nobody was hurt. Accidents can be so scary!

    I’m sure Grace will be ok after awhile. The fact that she’s not afraid to get into the new blue car is a good sign.

    Sab’s last blog post..Mother’s Day Weekend

    • Sab – Thank you. Have you tried unfollowing and then refollowing my blog through the link at the top of the page? What might have happened is that you are still following my old Blogger feed, which I abandoned in February to move over to WordPress.

  26. I’m so glad you’re all ok! I just read your last few posts (I follow, but for some reason my blogger doesn’t post when you put up a new post at all), and I’m so glad you’re all alright! I’m sorry about what happened. God was protecting you both!

    My sis in law and her 1 year old got into an accident a while ago too, and they had to get a new car. An old man backed out of a parking spot without looking, and very fast. The back door was jammed and glass was everywhere. Thankfully, her sister was in the back seat and protected my neice from the glass, and nobody was hurt. Accidents can be so scary!

    I’m sure Grace will be ok after awhile. The fact that she’s not afraid to get into the new blue car is a good sign.

    Sab’s last blog post..Mother’s Day Weekend

    • Sab – Thank you. Have you tried unfollowing and then refollowing my blog through the link at the top of the page? What might have happened is that you are still following my old Blogger feed, which I abandoned in February to move over to WordPress.

  27. I too have the Britax Marathon car seats for my two little ones yes they are pricey but I have never heard anything but great things about them.

  28. I too have the Britax Marathon car seats for my two little ones yes they are pricey but I have never heard anything but great things about them.

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