I've had three seemingly unrelated, yet connected experiences this weekend. I think there's a message here from God.
First, I stumbled on Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture, a book based on his speech at Carnegie Mellon by the same title. I saw him on Oprah in the fall, and I was inspired. His message was deep and painful and hopeful and light and charming, all at the same time. Anyway, I ordered the book and started reading a few days ago. Joe noticed me reading one morning and asked me to read it aloud. We finished the book today during a long drive, so I spent a lot of my day reading a book about a dying man.
Second, my Grandma informed my mom (who told me) what she wants to be “laid out” in when she dies. What?!? Do people really have these conversations? The unfortunate (and funny) thing is that Grandma bought the dress a long time ago. It's been so long, in fact, that the dress no longer zips and so Grandma's final outfit is going to have to be taped onto her body. Or something.
Third, I was catching up on the blogs I like and read this post, originally written by Erma Bombeck: http://www.wearethatfamily.com/2008/05/live.html.
So I was sitting in the semi dark this evening, rocking Gracie Anna, and wondering if these three events were connected. I was thinking about the Tarot and how the Death card doesn't necessarily mean someone is about to die, but rather that a major chapter in someone's life is about to close so that another one can begin.
We have two possible beginnings coming up.
Joe has appled for a position with our state government so that he can get better benefits and better pay. He loves his current job, so the idea of something different is daunting for both of us, even if it might be better.
I, of course, am hoping to quit my job and stay home with Gracie full time. I am so very conflicted over this change, and I've been praying (nonstop!) for the Lord's guidance and wisdom in deciding what to do.
Maybe these three random events were God's way of speaking to me, saying something like John 14:27.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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