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An only child

We're pretty sure Grace is going to be an only child. My pregnancy was heinous (if you know me, you're already aware of that, since I complained at every available opportunity), and I really like having just Gracie. However, people have strong opinions about the “1 and done” plan. Several coworkers have even pulled me aside to say things like “You know, it's cruel of you to have only child.” and “Who's going to be there for Grace when you're gone?” And then my pal Kate (there's the personal shout out you've been dying to see), whose baby, Jesse, is one day younger than Grace, goes and gets pregnant, and this leads me to remind myself about the reasons why an only child is best for the Gerner-Ziegmont household.

  • One is half the price of two. A second child would mean twice the day care, twice the food, twice the diapers, twice the vacation costs, movie costs, school lunches, shoes, etc. (This is Joe's big reason.)
  • We have the resources to allow Grace to explore her interests. If she wants to play sports, take music lessons, pursue dancing, go to college, or any combination, we can pay for it and actually be there to support her.
  • We have enough money for three people. Penny pinching might be an issue if there were four of us.
  • Only children tend to have higher IQs and are more independant and more creative than siblings.
  • When I think about spending another 9+ months pregnant, I get physically sick. Just thinking about it.
  • We are not at all interested in adoption.
  • No fighting. My younger sister and I fought like badgers back in the day, and Grace will be spared that.
  • No sibling rivalry. My poor little sister got compared to me by every person we ever met. I know for a fact that she heard a lot of “Are you as ___ as Tara?” She resented that.
  • No playing favorites. Again, my younger sister and I knew which of us was the favorite of each parent.
  • Grace gets all the attention that she wants from both of her parents. She gets us at our best, emotionally and physically.
  • Joe and I get to have some sanity and quiet time. When Grace is playing by herself or when she's in bed, it's grown up time to scrapbook, play Wii, and just talk to each other.
  • One car seat means we can travel with the grandparents in our car without taking two vehicles.
  • The three of us can be entirely devoted and open with each other. There's no chance to go behind someone's back when there are just the parents and the child.
  • I have no guilt about over populating the planet.
  • Grace gets lots of social time at day care.
  • My dear IRL friends is having a daughter in July, so hopefully, the two of them will be close.
  • Having a second (or third) child does not guarantee a playmate and/or longterm friend for Gracie. There are lots of siblings out there who are geographically or emotionally distant or even dislike each other.
  • Things are hectic enough with just one.
  • At the same time, we are all three very happy with tour little family.

I'll be back to update as I think of more reasons.

Disclaimer – I'm posting this mostly for myself. I'm not trying to convince you that you should have only one child, but rather just to remind myself.

© 2008 – 2017, Tara Ziegmont. All rights reserved.

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7 thoughts on “An only child”

  1. I think this is a great list for your family. I wish that others (who mean well, I’m sure) would keep in mind that everyone is different. Everyone’s situation is different, and just because more kids works for them, it may not work for others.

    Good for you!

    Has Gracie has her 9 month check up yet? We go tomorrow for Ladybug’s. I’ll post details tomorrow afternoon.

  2. I think this is a great list for your family. I wish that others (who mean well, I’m sure) would keep in mind that everyone is different. Everyone’s situation is different, and just because more kids works for them, it may not work for others. Good for you! Has Gracie has her 9 month check up yet? We go tomorrow for Ladybug’s. I’ll post details tomorrow afternoon.

  3. These are great arguments to give those people who keep asking over and over again if you’re going to have another!

    That being said, I was an only child until I was 20. There wasn’t anyone to talk to or play with when I was younger, and now that I’m an adult, my siblings are so much younger than I am that we don’t have anything in common. I always said that I would never have an only child if I could help it!

    I think what it really comes down to is you always want what you don’t have— I’m sure my kids wish they were only children!

    • I’m not sure. God chose a different path for my life, and I had a second daughter in 2010. 🙂 It’s so interesting to hear your perspective. One of my sisters is 12 years older than me, and I’ve largely found the same issues with her.

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